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Domestic violence newsflash: men suffer too!

by Susanna Forrest
Words: Susanna Forrest
Posted: 18 Jan '08, 10:47

Men hit women and it's Sleeping With The Enemy: high tragedy, Oscars all round and a visit from the police. Women hit men and it's Lauren Bacall or Katherine Hepburn slapping some sense into a bull-headed lunk of testosterone – it's what they deserved, right? Well, er, no. That's the (pretty bloody obvious, we would have thought) message that controversial veteran domestic violence campaigner Erin Pizzey is bidding to get across with the launch of a new online survey for battered men and battering women.

The Home Office reckons that one in six British men are victims of domestic violence by a female partner, whether it's psychological or physical, but although they provide a phone help line exclusively for guys, there are currently zero shelters in the UK for men who want to escape abusive relationships. Maybe that’s because there's not enough money to fund a decent programme for women (who make up 77% of batterees), let alone develop a new network for men.

Pizzey, who opened the first women's refuge in the world in 1972 (in Chiswick, west London, since you ask) thinks it's because she's uncovered "the last taboo" and that women's groups and New Labour Blair Babes are guilty of portraying men as evil, one-dimensional villains and women as snow-white victims while pursuing an secret, anti-men agenda. Her claim that domestic violence is usually "consensual" is enough to make you run screaming from the building, and she's also been known to label some victims "terrorists" who are driving their partners to abuse them because of abuse they themselves suffered in childhood.

OK, so everyone's a victim and nobody wins, but be careful with the buzzwords – no woman just walked into an outstretched fist that just happened to be there.

Comments

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Battered Men Documentary

This is a serious issue and the central issue of a documentary I worked on two years ago for BBC2. Due to the embarrassing nature of being attacked by a woman many men would rather suffer in silence than admit to being emasculated in this way. Another point to mention is that domestic abuse is not always violent and is often psychological and this type of abuse is more common than a woman physically abusing a man and once someone has you psychologically ground down you have little ability to help yourself get out of the abusive situation. Sadly many groups who protect women from domestic violence reject the idea that male abuse happens at all as they feel it detracts from the more serious issue of violence against women. Although the tragedy is such that women are very much more likely to be the victims of domestic abuse it should not be used as an excuse for failing to give protection to men who suffer at the hands of violent or abusive women. It seems obvious to me that protection should be offered to anyone who suffers at the hands of an abusive person, as well as help for the abuser themselves, regardless of their gender.

amyroo | 18 Jan '08, 15:51 | Send note | Report this | Reply

Absolutely

I totally agree. But given some of the groups backing Ms Pizzey and some of her rhetoric, I'll be very interested to see if attention can be drawn to this issue without an avalanche of pent up misogyny tumbling into view.

SusannaF | 19 Jan '08, 08:14 | Send note | Report this | Reply