I hate sport. Unless it’s darts (the king of sports), it involves lycra and self-loathing. Why pay to spend time on puffing away on an energy-sapping machine when you could be doing, well, anything else?

I thought this, until I discovered a sport that involves hanging out with cool women, pretending you're a super-hero and going out on the town afterwards.

Ladies, may I present the QUEEN of sports – roller derby!

It started in 1930s America as a sport for both sexes, and over the past year women-only teams have been sprouting up all over the UK. Last August, I spied a picture of The London Rollergirls in The Guardian, advertising the first ever UK bout that weekend. I hitched a lift to London and watched warrior women smash into each other, skating faster than any roller disco bunny could. I chugged another can of lager down a throat that was sore from cheering, and realised this was it. I was in love.

I'm now part of the Middlesbrough Milk Rollers (Milk Roll is Northern, so are we. We also roll) and there are teams in London, Birmingham, Glasgow, Bedford, Lincoln and Leeds. We started off booking practices, buying skates, thinking up names for our alter-egos (ours include Rita Von Sleaze, Darcey Hustle, Pat The Butcher and my very own Germaine Leer) and, of course, training.

And you do need to train. HARD. A bout (aka game) lasts for 90 minutes. Two teams of five skaters wear protective gear and skate against each other, trying to prevent the opposition's Jammer from overtaking. The Jammer's job is to break ahead of the pack and score points by lapping them, out-skating the opposition blockers. It's full-on contact and can be violent.

You can see why it appeals to women. It's a chance to get rid of stress in a post-Working Girl world. You can forget you're a girlfriend, mum, tax-payer, whatever, and be whoever you want when you're wearing wheels. It's addictive (ask any of our boyfriends and girlfriends), but unlike crack, this actually does you good.

You're part of a gang and you meet like-minded broads from all over. You're encouraged to sweat, shout and shove, and to buy new shoes (which happen to have wheels on). And you're part of a community, where everyone has equal say and comes in all shapes, sizes and ages. It's hard to choose what I like the most.