The Lipster

Before I get ranting about Q's Women In Music special, I've an admission. I've been suckled on the beery man-teat of the music press since 2003. I have been spoon-fed liquid pots of knowledge by its big daddies, and am much in debt to many of them (especially those who don't have Bono obsessions, knock back Jack Daniels, or can fart Bob Dylan's back catalogue in their sleep). My faith in magazine men in general makes picking up a copy of this month's Q even more depressing. For "Free Inside!" this month is a 70-page special which comes "GIRL POWERED by Adele/Kate Bush/Duffy/Debbie Harry/Stevie Nicks/Goldfrapp/Courtney Love and Lots More." How clever of them.

Let's start by giving Q a chance. It's true that women – God bless them, and their pesky, frilly ways – have always been under-represented in the music press both as writers and performers. So, in one way, it's good to see lots of women in Q who are not usually there. Pocket guides to buying Kate Bush, Björk and Patti Smith are very welcome, and it's great to read about Robyn's love of (the amazing and still hugely underrated, I tell you) Neneh Cherry, Kim Gordon on Debbie Harry, and M.I.A. on Justine Frischmann. I'd have given my Rimmel liquid eyeliner up to run these pieces on The Lipster.

But while our site is all about drawing attention to the differences between these women – and to the non-female artists we female pop culture-lovers adore – Q is sending out another message, I fancy. Which is this. The lumpen grouping together of these musicians, whose only common factor is their ownership of an extra X chromosome the last time I checked, is a special: a one-off. Which suggests that the talents of these very different individuals only have worth to Q if they're all stuck in a pile.

What's next month then, Q? Black artists in music? Homosexuals in music? No, I thought not. And this is why it sucks.

To give you a little more embroidery (how ladylike and bijou of me), here's some other things about this Q special that are anything but.

The Cat Power cover. Eww.

Their Girl Power! music timeline. "Girl Power" is something for 11-year-olds, not grown-ups. And last time we looked, Nina Simone, Dusty Springfield and Patti Smith were probably women.

The horrible psychotherapist analysing Alison Goldfrapp. Here's Philip Hodson's take on Supernature: "Nature wants Alison to breed, and once she's done that, nature will make her old and withered. Women don't have to have children, but it's an unavoidable question." And here was silly me thinking that that filthy album was about horses, pink jumpsuits and fucking.

Seeing Florence and the Machine described as the anti-Kate Nash. One plays piano and sings pop songs about mouthwash; one sings dirty blues songs with a guitar. Er, so their only similarity is their red, red hair. Think of your logic this way, Q: Paul Weller has brown hair and so does Jack Penate. Which makes Jack Penate the anti-Paul Weller! It doesn't, you say? How strange./p>

The cat-fight section. Joni Mitchell vs Joan Baez! Mariah vs Jennifer! Courtney Love vs The World! Christ, is this Closer? (The MAGAZINE, you Q numpties, not my favourite Joy Division album.) Can we get Bob Dylan pulling Kris Kristofferson's hair instead? Oh, I forgot – they don't cat-fight, they're contemporaries, aren't they? Silly little me!

Maybe I'm over-reacting. And yes, maybe it's good to have women in Q, whatever the method of them getting there. Or maybe this bilious shoving-together of musicians because of their vulvas is so archaic and wrong that we should write articles about it. I don't know about you, but the way I feel now I'm going to go with the latter.