Before we kick off, we wanted to let you know that we've been having some big old technical problems this morning, which is why the site hasn't been there. But we are back to normal service. As you were.

The Daily Mail has a lot to be smug about this morning, what with the Mail-friendly local elections results (though their 'Mariah dumps boyfriend' story was unfortunately timed, what with them getting married last night and everything).

But that's no excuse for letting Lowri Turner loose on such a regular basis. After triumphantly declaring that women really are the weaker sex, she's now going after celebs who suffer from, her words, "you're-as-young-as-the-shop-you-buy-your-clothes-in syndrome".

Lowri admits that, at 43, she still eyes up hotpants and wants to dress like a 27 year old, but then blames the disintegration of women's life structure for this new fad:

"But that was when women's lives in general followed some sort of pattern. You were single, you met Mr Right, you got married, had children and then you both retired to tend your begonias. That was the idea, anyway.

"Then that script got ripped up and women found themselves divorced or back in the workplace at 40 or 50, so we wandered into Dorothy Perkins and wandered out again with a carrier bag full of teen clothing."

Women working at 40 or 50! Women getting divorced! That doesn't really explain why her two main targets, Gwyneth Paltrow (35, married, successful) and Madonna (49, married, successful) are "muttony", but Lowri's never been one for making much sense.