The Lipster

Top weight-loss tip of the week goes to the lovely people at The Sun, who offer five handy no-diet tricks to keep your waist-line weeny. But it’s the first tip which is the most interesting. Apparently our recent fondness for smocks and over-sized floaty dresses has stopped us from noticing any extra poundage. They prescribe a jeans-based guilt session, whereby you try on your indigo blues once a week to make sure you can still get into them. How very helpful, Thank You The Sun, etc.

But, but, but. I think we’ve been rather blessed in recent years, with the likes of Balenciaga, Chloe and Marni favouring frankly massive and utterly delish frocks which, flattering or no, cover your body in a rather delightful and demure way. So whilst the likes of American Apparel continue to try foist what is essentially Pineapple dancewear circa 1983 on us, I shall cling to my volume dresses. It was; 1) the first trend in ages which could be worn by anyone, thereby being democratic 2) it did not equate clinginess with sexiness 3) it did not reduce all party dresses to barely-there, synthetic slut-tinsel.

May we also posit that the very reason we like volume dresses is because they don’t involve you monitoring your body weight every flipping day. Could this not in fact be evidence of a rather refreshing sartorial freedom? And may we also kindly suggest that we have rather better things to do – i.e. our JOBS, our BAIRNS and seeing our FRIENDS, than putting time aside every bloody week for denim-related self-scrutiny?

Any way, even if you have hit the biscuits, volume dresses are what Trinny and Susanna are always banging on about, ie they’re the sartorial equivalent of an optical illusion. The bigger the dress, the SMALLER you appear. And now I point you in the direction of fig.1, above.

See?