Hello, I'm Moira Stuart. THIS IS THE NEWS.

Madonna's building a multi-million dollar Girls School in Africa, I tell you. Rumours of her operating the concrete mixer remain unfounded.

Bad Courtney! Courtney Love has ditched her album of Linda Perry-assisted pop to make a record with Larrikin Love's guitarist.

Julian Macdonald wants to make Amy Winehouse a model. Denim hotpants and hairscarves a necessity, Julian.

Amy also won't face charges over smoking crack cocaine. Goodness gracious.

American rapper Remy Ma's not only in prison – she's also getting her fiancé to sneak in keys for her handcuffs.

Leonard Cohen's played his first concert for 15 years – and Grandpa's still got a groove on.

Welsh foghorn du jour Duffy was thrown out of choir for singing too loudly.

Blondie drummer Clem Burke tells all about the 30th anniversary of Parallel Lines.

And finally: Lindsay Lohan's been caught looking a bit grumpy in an N.E.R.D. video. Good night.