With the news that Our Cliff’s Congratulations woz robbed of victory in 1968 by Spanish dictator Franco (never mind the bombing of Guernica, you can bet – like King Alfred burning the cakes – this is what history will remember Franco for) tomorrow night’s Eurovision Song Contest's credibility is, even by its usually low standards, deeper in the doldrums than the careers of Scooch, Daz Sampson and Jemini. But rummage a little further than the winners and obvious piss-takers, behind the cheap dry ice and endless parade of songs about 'unity' or 'hope', and you'll find some real diamonds among the cubic zirconias. Here's my guide to the songs that were just too damn good for Eurovision.

1. Milly Scott – Fernando En Filippo (1966, Dutch entry, 15th place)

Until Sandie Shaw came along and updated the contest with a kick of her bare feet, Eurovision Song Contests were tedious affairs. They usually featured 'quality' songs, perfectly enunciated by Brylcreamed blokes and helmet-haired ladies in their Sunday Best. And although it was hardly These Boots Are Made For Walkin'' Milly Scott's bouncy Mexican-flavoured eurobeat ditty 'ernando En Filippo was the most contemporary effort of the contest – and thus only attracted a miserly two points. In a notoriously whitewashed contest, Milly was the also first black singer to compete in Eurovision, and it took until 2001 for a black artist to win.

2. Silver Convention – Telegram (1977, German entry, 8th place)

Three sequinned minxes with a mildly successful back catalogue of hits (including, fact fans, one of Pete Waterman's earliest projects) ramped up the cheese factor on their brand of whispery disco but forgot the golden rule: Eurovision likes its winners to sound two years out of date. Following the double disgrace of deigning to compete in Eurovision, and then not winning, Silver Convention probably wandered back to the Munich equivalent of Studio 54 and found their names struck off the guestlist.

3. Telex – Euro-Vision (1980, Belgian entry, 17th place)

Eurovision is at its most entertaining when it tries to capture the Zeitgeist and spectacularly falls onto its spandexed arse (also known as the 'Love City Groove effect'). But this attempt by self-referential know-it-alls Telex bucks the trend, being a cool slice of Kraftwerk-inspired goodness that actually anticipates the sound of 1981.

4. Remedios Amaya – Quién Maneja Mi Barca (1983, Spanish entry, 19th place)

Imagine, if you will, an electro-flamenco fusion of Nico and Baccara, delivered by a strange headbanded woman pointing at the audience. Y Viva Espana'it was not. It's hardly surprising that this avant-garde effort stunned the judges into awarding it nul points.

5. Belle & The Devotions – Love Games (1984, UK entry, 7th place)

If you've ever cringed your way through that piece of footage where the poor models that fronted Milli Vanilli try to sing, spare a thought for Belle & The Devotions. While Kit 'Belle' Rolfe was a professional singer, her Devotions were dancers used to singing with their mikes off and letting the backing group do the donkey work. Having their safety blanket removed (the backups were disallowed at Eurovision) and their own mikes switched on, Love Games became a tuneless shouting contest at times. Coupled with recent English football hooliganism, the Brits were decidedly unpopular and the performance led to some boos from the Luxembourg audience. Which is a shame, since the song is a cheery example of the brief sixties girl group obsession in eighties pop, with bonus fluorescent stilettos.

6. Frances Ruffelle – We Will Be Free (Lonely Symphony) (1994, UK entry, 10th place)

The mid-nineties saw Ireland seeing off all comers and the UK, despite some Gina G class mixed in with the usual Samantha Janus-type dreck usually finishing depressingly mid-table. Frances, wearing an appropriate crown of thorns, fared no better points-wise, but her entry had an appealing sixth-form drama club air and channelled the spirit of Shakespear's Sister. Squint your ears and the Sugababes could have a successful bash at it.

7. Serebro – Song #1 (2007, Russian entry, 3rd place)

This trio came on like t.A.t.U. without the hissyfits, delivering a fabulous up-to-date pop tune that combined Britney's Oops…I Did It Again with Girls Aloud's patented mike-holding technique for a storming triumph. It had a bit of positive press in Britain before the night but, predictably, as it was fatally smeared with the poisoned milk of Eurovision, didn't trouble the charts.

And what to this year? France's Sebastien Tellier is the cool choice with Divine, plucky Brit Andy Abraham is an unsurprising 300-1 with the useless Even If and Ireland are entering a man dressed as a turkey. Mon Dieu! Recommend your own Eurovision favourites below to cheer us up.