The Eurovision Song Contest dissected
“Russia has a new hate figure and his name is Terry Wogan” is my favourite quote from the Eurovision post-mortems going on over the weekend – but God, there's been plenty to choose from. For after Russia's new favourite son, Dima Bilan, romped to victory in Saturday's 53rd Eurovision Song Contest – getting extra points for being backed by some Timbaland beats, a violin-playing Nicky Clarke impersonator and a bloody ice-skater, for God's sake – the papers have gone well and truly apeshit. But why are they blabbing?
Dima Bilan's winning song, Believe
The bookies are shortening the odds on Terry Wogan quitting after the soft Irish flower ranted how the competition was "now about national prejudices." Here's our own controversial suggestion: throw in the towel, Tel, and bring in some fresh blood if you're bored. How about Harry Hill for the hot-seat?
Russia's bloggers are calling Tel all sorts, according to The Guardian's Moscow correspondent Luke Harding. Choice examples include "we don't need you here, arsehole!" and "he can go shit himself!" Lovely.
Rumours were bubbling all weekend that the BBC will withdraw their £173,000 of funding to try and change the politically-motivated voting. But as the show got 10 million kitsch-loving nutters turning on, today Auntie Been quashed those rumours.
Still, elsewhere people aren't happy. The Daily Mirror's letter-writing masses have decreed that the UK should quit the show for good, as have 98% of the wise souls at the Daily Express. Fancy!
All this rantery and ravery aside, what was your favourite bit of the contest itself? Here's ours in all its glory: France's Sebastian Tellier arriving on a golf buggy, inhaling helium from a balloon, and being backed by five women in beards and dark glasses. Nominate your own favourite moment below.
Well, you did ask for a dissection...
Overall, I thought the standard of entries this year was fairly low - a lot of samey songs and a dearth of REALLY great performances. France had the best song, certainly, but Seb's performance was a bit lacklustre, despite his great props - if you're going to enter Eurovision, at least go for it and cheese it up!
My fave song was Ukraine ('Shady Lady', bang-on Eurovision stuff) and I thought Russia was one of the worst. Poor Andy, 'Even If' was dire, but it wasn't the direst by a long way.
I personally think it would be a good idea for the UK to go through the semis like everyone else. I don't believe this hierarchy of getting a bye for just flinging money at the thing endears us to our fellow competitors.
Also, I know everyone goes on about 'block voting' but I get a bit concerned with the underlying xenophobia of it. In no other circumstances do news reports on (for example) the BBC ever refer to the 'Eastern Bloc', using language that instantly went out of date after David Hasslehoff pulled down the Berlin Wall with his illuminated jacket. We are one Europe, and we should stop having this sniffy attitude towards our Eastern European neighbours.
no surprises
Same old nonesense with Eurovision this year, with rubbish tactical voting. Terry was off form too.
I thought the French entry was great, although we deserved to do badly with our song (but not that badly). I think there should be an embargo on voting for adjacent countries and we should be split up and enter as separate countries - if Andorra can field an entrant, I'm sure Wales could manage it too.
Finally, I didn't realise the the (frankly awful) winning Russian artist had had number ones all over Europe. It kind of puts their weird victory into some kind of perspective.
My first Eurovision
This was my first time ever watching the Eurovision contest (I'm not from these parts) and I thought it was hilarious! Love the cheese factor.
The best act was the pirates from Latvia for sure. The whole room started singing along and going nuts when they came on. I think the pirate appeal is an English-speaking thing...the eastern European countries just didn't get it! Kudos to the UK for giving them good marks, and Ireland for giving them top ones!
The Russian song was just awful...and I couldn't believe the terrible lyrics for Greece's song (rhyming destination with secret combination) *shudder*
Bye bye Terry
I've always loved Terry Wogan's sarcasm when it comes to Eurovision, but this year his bitterness bordered on xenophobia, and when he talked over the whole of Goran Bregovic's interval performance I wanted to put my fist through the TV. Sheer bloody-minded ignorance on his part at that point.
I'm crossing my fingers and hoping he moves on after this year.
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