This has been a long time coming, so, fanfare, please:

Be upstanding, ladies and gentlemen, for the one, the only, PAM ST CLEMENT.

Look at her. Glorious and buoyant is she, in her Pat Wicks/Beale/Evans/Butcher guise of frou-frouness. Note that great bouffant hair. That divine fake fur collar. Those statement earrings. That Mona Lisa smile. Seriously, human race: how could you not love her?

We know that there is a woman behind the mighty Butcher, don't get us wrong, and a professional actor with a good CV to boot. But for the purposes of our celebration of the whole package, entertain us, if you will, as we honour the total 360-degree greatness of the Pam/Pat hybrid.

1. Pam survived a tough childhood to reach the top.

Pam's mum died when she was very young, and her Dad was brought up in an East London orphanage before becoming a right regular Joan Collins and marrying five times. Oof. The young Pam was then shipped off for years to a South Downs boarding school where she was, in her own words, "very naughty". Good girl.

2. Pam's a proper Dorothy Parker on the quiet.

On being asked by The Independent in 1995 why Pat was always lighting a cigarette on the show, Pam said, "Early on, when I was trying to build up the character, I thought, She's voracious: she'd probably put everything she could get her hands on into her mouth." Brilliant. Even better were her comments about the boorish TV critic, Garry Bushell: "He's actually about as charismatic as a cold chip." Can we get greetings cards with this stuff, Hallmark?

3. Pam loves Crufts.

Sorry, but a love of Crufts wins us over every time.

4. Pam and Mike Reid were one of soap's best ever couples

Forget Romeo and Juliet. Stuff Troilus and Cressida. Hell, Den and 'Chelle can go shove it in the canal an' all. Frank and Pat's relationship may have had more twists and turns than a Clacton rollercoaster, but Pam really made you believe how much they loved each uvvah. Watch this clip without having a lump in your throat and you're PROBABLY ALREADY DEAD. Er, like Mike Reid is. (Sorry, Mike.)

5. No one does scathing – or slapping – better than Pam.

If there could be a fack-off cinema screen above the golden doors of Lipster HQ, then this clip would be playing on repeat for ever. Babs Windsor gives us her best in this 1998 vintage Eastenders episode, but no one – NO ONE – can mess with our Pat for one-liners and nifty hands. Look at those shoulders, for God's sake. Would you mess wivvah?

6. And if that wasn't all, Pam also stands up for good causes.

Pam's Vice-President of her local RSPCA, the chief patron of Veteran Horse Welfare, and she campaigned with Stonewall against Section 28 (and, no, she's not civic partnershipped-up with Moira Stuart, I'm afraid). Charm, style, sass, a conscience, AND a 22-year-old Eastenders acting career? Come on, Pam – the gin's out and we're ready to pour. Just tinkle the earrings and it's yours.