Would you like a phone with a DivX-capable five megapixel camera and touchscreen technology? You would? What would you use it for? LG have made such a phone, and had a bit of a brainstorm about the kind of person they think will buy their phone, and what appeals to them. You know, as is the job of marketing and advertising people. And guess what they decided?

That people who buy the LG Secret are male stalkers who stand outside women's bedrooms, and film them sleeping. Then they use magic gadget voodoo to make the women do porny things like writhe around and give the voyeur a view up their nightie.

Like the ladies at Feministing, you might find this viral (viral as in genital herpes in this case, I think) ad a little mindblowing. The perv 'operates' the sleeping woman by moving his handset, stroking her image on screen and twiddling a cigar tip (I think we're supposed to understand that that correlates to her nipples or clit). It's a bit like one of those novelty "remote controls for women" with "fetch beer" and "cut my toe nails" buttons. He puffs smoke which sets off the sprinkler over her bed, causing her to sit up and start making happy little moués as the cold water dribbles over her body. When he has an incoming call and the phone vibrates, she jiggles her tits. Yes, really.