It's The Lipster's Monday Playlist, gracelessly shedding its poppy load everywhere like a hyperactive viper. But what is it hissing at us this week? Let us see.

Net gains

All music news today cowers in the shadow of another monstrously brilliant song from our favourite pink-haired pop goddess, Lily Allen, which popped up on her MySpace yesterday like a perky Yorkshire pudding. It's called Guess Who Batman and it's ace, nicking the plinky-plonky piano riff off the Carpenters Close To You, and featuring a swear-heavy rant about bigots. Some lyrics? Go on, then:

"Look inside your tiny mind, then look a bit harder/'Cos we're so uninspired, so sick and tired of all the hatred you harbour/So you say it's not OK to be gay, well I think you're just evil/You're just some racist who can't tie my laces, your point of view is medieval/Fuck you, fuck you very much/'Cos we hate what you do and we hate your whole crew, so please don't stay in touch."

Literally, amazing.

Chart bypass

Tossing that Britain's Got Talent Mint Royale kiddy off the chart's heady summit like a gang of nasty Sherpas, Coldplay have popped to the top-spot of the singles charts. (Woohoo, yawn, etc.) Viva La Vida is Chris Martin's gang's first no. 1 ever, though, although don't tell Mr Paltrow, 'cos he'll probably flounce off. Elsewhere, Duffy and Gabriella Cilmi still prop up a fairly dull top 10, Weezer's Pork and Beans pierces the chart's arse with a very small bullet at 40, and a terrible, TERRIBLE boy band called Billiam penetrate the charts nether regions at no. 23 with My Generation. I mean, really: Billiam? A name so stomach-churningly bad it's made me sick up my mid-morning panini.

Stereo habits

It's all been about Lil' Wayne this week on the dusty Lipster 5-disc changer. (Here I should point out that I always thought Lil' Wayne was a terrible Brit-rapper, the sort of bumbling crapmonger you went to school with, and thought that rapping meant rhyming cat, sat and mat. Apparently not – he's American, quite good, and selling more than Kanye West.) Further afield, Trunk Records have some great stuff coming out: the mad jazz of Hear O, Israel and the burbling electronic wondrousness of The John Baker Tapes, which includes lots of bonkers jingles from the BBC Radiophonic Workshop man who didn't write the Doctor Who theme. Other than that the Very Best Of Eddy Grant (is there a better summer single that Electric Avenue? No, obviously) and the lovely Ladyhawke album sampler have kept us happy. Nothing but eclectic, us.

Please Release Me

This week's album pile's got sunny, floaty loveliness (Sigur Ros, Seth Lakeman), boys with messy haircuts making a racket (Dirty Pretty Things, The Rascals), AND THE NEW DONNA SUMMER RECORD. It's called Crayons. Sadly the cover isn't decorated with the random ham-fisted scribblings of La Summer, but a lovely picture of the radiant lady. The album – sadly – is more pants than Marks and Spencer's stockroom, but it gives us an excuse to remember the fabness of Donna and show some of her greatest moments. Let's go, team: