Forget knickers for seven-year-olds with "Sexy Mama" on them. Fret not about boob tubes for coquettish pre-teens. Here's some stilettos for babies! Yes, really – some stilettos for babies! Super cute pink ones with straps that'll make their legs look super-svelte and a bit like Posh Spice innit.

We're not killjoys here at Lipster HQ – woe be it for us to deny a single-minded kiddie the chance to look lush in fancy shoes if it could think beyond "Mum, I need boob-milk" – but let's think about this for a moment. It's weird. It's creepy. And even though the heels are collapsible and the picture above is very silly indeed, it's putting the poor nipper in sexy clobber before she's learnt not to poo herself. Which pongs even more than her nappy in my book.

Mointte Benitez, one of the prospective heel-buyers questioned by the New York Post last weekend, didn't agree with us. She "definitely would [buy them] for the sake of fashion", God love her, and therefore would revel in the choice of examples in leopard satin, hot pink, black or zebra. "For the sake of fashion" being a phrase with as much teary sadness in it as a baby's lungs after a mammoth weeping sesh. Baby: just say WAAAAAH.