You remember Casanova? You know, that bloke from the 1700s who wore girls' blouses, shagged girls wearing blouses, looked like David Tennant and probably had gonorrhoea.

Well, ladies: guess what he attributed his sexual prowess to? Kaballah, of course, Madonna and Posh's spiritual nonsense of choice. (Just imagine the chats going on behind closed doors. "Cassie, dear! Pray what are you doing with that piece of red string?")

Not only was old 'Nova a 'Ballah bore, but biographer Ian Kelly has revealed he was also a canny businessman, after trawling archives in Prague, Moscow and St Petersburg. What was his trade? Booty, of course. "We should also not forget that sex was in fact one of the main forms of cultural commerce in the 18th century", explains Kelly, "but that this was a feature of Enlightenment mores that subsequent and more prudish centuries have suppressed." Ah, so Belle De Jour has it sussed, doesn't she?

In other news, Casanova liked boys on occasion, and also had a special word for his willy. What did he call it? His "soul". Yes, girls, his "soul". Don't know about you, but he sounds more like an ass soul to us.