GOOD AT MUSIC, RUBBISH AT PHOTOSHOP

Here is the new song from Diddy, P. It's too rude to be a proper single (and by rude, we mean rubbish), and, as well as ruining an MIA sample, it makes quite literally the least seductive request of a lady ever: "Suck it til your hymen pops."

OK! Hold up, actually, we meant: eeeeuuuuch.

To top off said nastiness, there's a whole lot of posturing, dated gangsta-rap-isms and about a thousand "bitch"-es thrown in for no good reason other than to make it really really grim.

Still, Perez Hilton thinks it's "both musically and lyrically exciting", so that's something!

What a berk. Let's watch the Paper Planes video instead:

That's better.