PROG ROCK ALLERGICS

A few months ago when everyone started banging on about Spotify, someone sent us one of those invitation thingies what are meant in a clever web-marketing way to make you think it is some sort of exclusive club, and we had a quick swizz around to see what all the fuss was about. And we were all like 'What, is it basically the same as Last.FM then?' and they were like 'No, it's like a radio, with adverts on' and we were like 'I have a radio, thank you very much' and they were like 'Yes but it is very 'lightweight' and streams things on the straightaway' and we were like 'We have enough trouble pissing about on other internet widgets without you adding another one which will then mean we spend more time on actual widgets than we do actually writing about anything on our proper website' and they were like 'Calm down, you stressy witch' and we were like 'No, YOU CALM DOWN' and they were like 'Alright, DON'T JOIN IT THEN' and we were like 'OKAY, WE WON'T'

Anyway, that was a couple of months ago. And this is now. Actually it was yesterday, but you know, whatever. So we loaded it up, and it was indeed 'lightweight' (whatever that means, because as any fule kno, the internet DOES NOT WEIGH ANYTHING - thank you, Graham Linehan) and we started having a play with it.

ANYWAY DO YOU KNOW WHAT READERS, THERE ARE LOADS OF THINGS NOT ON IT.

Which got us to thinking. What if you were this blerk:

Or these ones:

Or this one:

Or this person, who doesnotliveinHollywoodorgetpaidsquillionsoranything:

And say they were being all normal and looking at all the New Year blah about music and thinking 'Shit, I am well out of step with the pop charts, I should start looking these hot new things up and then buying their records'. They may then perhaps have gone on the BBC website, and looked at this:

Which would be a good place to start, obvs, if you were not already familiar with the glories of top new music chroniclers The Lipster. Anyway, what if they then thought 'I know, I will go on that new Spotify thingy and have a listen before I spaff £10 on an album'

AND THEN THEY GO ON SPOTIFY.

AND THIS HAPPENS:

CAN SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS PLEASE. EITHER WE ARE DOING SOMETHING WRONG OR IT IS A BIT SHIT. AND WE ARE NOT DOING A LIPSTER PLAYLIST UNTIL IT HAS BEEN FIXED.

(THANK YOU)

ALSO, IT IS NOT LOUD ENOUGH.

(SHUT UP NOW PLEASE)