LIKES THE REMIX BETTER

One of our favourite things is to get recommendations from far-flung corners of the world. And so it is with Maria Awaria - a Polish, as it happen, and a very nutty tart to boot. Maria has made a video in which men in pants feature heavily, but it also has IRONING BOARDS. Note to pop: more of this please.

As for Alesha, as anyone with a passing acquaintance with a television will know, she has a new album out. With a promotional schedule nothing short of punishing, we have seen her on that godawful BBC Switch programme, Never Mind The Buzzcocks, Saturday Kitchen, The Antiques Roadshow and Car Booty in the last two minutes alone. She must be very tired, :(

Anyhoo, as we are also all aware, Alesha's single is called The Boy Does Nothing. Sample lyric:

Does he wash up? No he never wash up / Does he clean up? No he never clean up / Does he brush up? No he never brush up / He does no-thing, the boy does no-THING!

Do you see? She is very annoyed, because her 'boy' is shit round the house. We would recommend some snitty post-it notes and a list. But first, let's remind ourselves of Alesha's video. WARNING: no cleaning implements have been used in the production of this video.

Hmn. She is brilliant, but they have definitely missed a trick by not including any dancing with mops, shake'n'vac-style arm swishes or references to Cillit BANG AND THE DIRT IS GONE. This was a sore point for us until this very morning, when a marvellous ladyperson sent us this, a youtubulation from Maria Awaria.

WARNING: it does not sound like Mambo #5.

Those crazy Poles. That was sort of amazing, no? We are not sure about the tuneage, but in terms of edgy aesthetics, peeling walls, men in y-fronts and IRONING BOARDS, it makes Alesha's point rather better. She was even IN THE WASHING MACHINE at one point, which is a pretty effective way of saying 'If I have to pick up your pants one more time I will stick you on a spin cycle'. For the uninitiated, Maria Awaria translates as Maria 'Failure', although her real name is Maria Peszek. And she is, according to our friend across the pond, 'sort of the Polish Bjork'. So now you know.

But moretothepoint, what do the arch, witty and illiterate commentators of youtube have to say about Maria's videothing? Well, this:

Exactly. What he said.

Although, actually, we just stuck that comment through the Google Translate manglathon and apparently it is an uncharitable, anti-feminist chunk of meanness. So not what he said. Never mind, let us just imagine for a second what coulda been, had Alesha gone down this route:

Much better, we think you'll agree. And a thoroughly productive morning's work.

Maria Awaria on the internets

Alesha Dixon on the internets